i wonder often, how do they do it... i mean it aint easy, making these films, & making stuff like NO SMOKING.... when people are goin to misunderstand YOU... i thought it was quite arrogant of Anurag Kashyap to make that film... but that kind of arrogance is necessary... the result is of the best hindi film release since quite some time... films like NO SMOKING & johnny gaddar have someHOW re assured me of the bombay film industry... brilliant films... amaZingly intelligent... especially NO SMOKING... all the symbolism... all the references, some we get, some we doNT ( i hope i get it all in the DVD release)..

but writing on the film was NOT the point of this entry...
i started with the arrogance.. which made me believe the conviction the filmmaker should have had while making it... i used to wonder how does he feel after this & about this, where the FUCK do you get conviction like this...

check this out: its beautiful: a blog entry by anurag kashyap on PFC http://passionforcinema.com/i-smoked-classic-milds/

hats off to anurag kashyap!!!!!!!

this is how we got bread butter at a dhaba nearby
bewildered us as to how he got the bread into this format!!!
















kudos to the genius,
& to us - huh!!!

the airline boom

the airline boom

well i am on a train right NOW!!! which is quite a thing because with lowering airfares air travel seems to be the popular choice... my friend in bangalore( an iiM student ) toh did NT even know eXactly how far the train station was from his place... that goes on to say how things have changed since the past few years ( with the airline boom )... well, why am i on the train ??? coZ i doNT think i have an option... as in the place i am going to (bellary) has a poor air connectivity & train seems to be the better option... i took a flight down from ahmedabad to bangalore earlier in the day... well... air travel is simpler, faster... NO need to be checking ticket status, waiting list, blah blah blah & one gets decent enough deals on short notice on air travel these days... this is what air travel generally is : you check in your stuff, security check, boarding, sitting on the plane, reading/tv/sleep & the food & the coffee & you are there... the only thing that s left is to claim your baggage & DONE with...

train travel on the other hand goes on & on... ( i remember me still shaking at the train s rhythm till two days after the journey got over)... but there is one thing that over weighs all other in train journey, at least for me... the disconnect from the present... it is like you are moving ahead (in time & actually towards one s destination) but actually you are still there (both spatially & temporally)... NOW that is a major problem these days it seems... one always needs to be in touch with what s happening, what s going on, NO one can seem to afford to miss a moment... huh! but is NT this moment is all we actually need... the moment of nothing ness in which you can actually contemplate as to what you are doing & you are ready to see where you are & ...... the concept of nothing ness (the first blog entry @ the bottom of this page) especially in the fast drawn life NOWaDAYS, does NT one need to STOP! & slow down to look back... does NT it all seem to be whiZZing past so fast... & what better than the train s speed... the slow forlorn speed... i dunno about everyone but train journey s are the one time that i think most about what s happening... or maybe even in vacations... this slow inconsistent shaky movement where you are actually NOT moving actually sticks you to a space & time & yo are just stuck there... in its own world... have you ever stood by the train door (or sat there for that matter) & seen villages & all passing by... its magical...its like life whiZZing past... & you getting to see it whiZZing past but you being stuck there where you were... so that yo can take a third person s POV... also just the beautiful imagery of stuff passing by... like even on a drive or a bus journey... i believe one gets to nothingness kinda thing in a bus journey also... more so, coZ most of the time yo caNT read a book or anything...

i dunno what all has happened to me in my train journeys... how many train journeys i remember & cherish... from the time when i first, as a kid,so wanted to be & was on the upper birth alone, i was afraid that i might fall while asleep, so would sleep on the wall side or would sleep & would keep checking the length of my body with the gap between the two supporting chain/rod thingy's... to when my whole family was traveling & the train was more than 8 hours late & the whole family sat there at the station for more than 4 hours (the train delay kept on increasing)... to the time when i was going to give my entrance eXams with a very dear friend, this was the first trip i was doing alone (i:e; without parents or graduation) the train was packed like hell , but we had shit loads of fun... the whole damn train was full of students... singing, chatting, dancing, talking, preparing for eXam, flirting... & the world was ours it seemed... to the time when i was traveling with my first gf & we kissed... to the time when i met my gf's mum (that was a disaster ;) )... to the time when i was supposed to meet a very dear "friend" (we both liked each other but ...) & when we met @ 7 on bombay central we didNT know what to do... to when the family used to travel (when i was kid) & we would play UNO... & be having mungfali... to so many others....
well, but NOW we doNT have time for all these things... we gotta rush up to the destination... i gotta go, check if i am there or NOT... stay connected... THE AiRLiNE BOOM iS HERE..

animation - a film making technique

animation - a film making technique

Chitrakatha 07... the NID international animation film festival

kudos to the team of the Chitrakatha, for the organiZing such an event... at least something happened...

through the presentations today, though, one thing struck me... one thing that s goin on in my head since quite some time NOW.... someHOW, there is this urge to create an identity for animation & the technique itself which is different than "cinema"... dunno why but there seems to be this thing to diffrentiate oneself from "live action"... which is quite weird... after all animation is also just filmmaking... it is just another technique of doin it... but it is FILMMAKING & NOTHiN else... i dunno but the need to create "animation film appreciation" or "animation archivals" seperate from filmmaking is quite striking.. as in should NT the approach be of jus to be making films... & NOT to be making animation films, as in if the film needed the necessary technique be adapted, be it cel animation, model animation, piXellation, stop motion or live action... but should NT this choice be dependent on the content... after all it is jus that we all have something to say... & how we say it depends on what has to be said... for eXample charles eames made both live action & animation films & the choice simply depended on the content...

NOW the point is that should it be made into an issue???? as in is it even worth discussing... coZ every animation school person (here at NID or other wise) will accept that animation film is film making (at least theoretically speaking) but then why take this approach of trying to create this seperate identity????

what the problem with courses like "Animation film Design" then becomes is that it probably becomes too technique oriented... as in the fact that one is animating becomes more important than as to why a particular form of animation or why animation at all.... as in the form should be decided according to the content i feel... here, the form is already decided, then one goes about the content...

dunno, but maybe am completely wrong about it all... & maybe i have a bit too skewed opinion about it... but i think it is definitely a point to ponder...

well, after my last blog, i got this reply from one of my friends ....

"mst say it needs courage to be writing personal stuff on blogs n all"

hmmmm....
dunno y, but is it really that difficult????? or will one be able to wrtie stuff that are personal n all n keep it with oneself.... (the traditional diary concept) but then y write it in the first place?????? coZ of the need to eXpress, the need to get it out... the need to let some1 else peek into it (that some1 else could just be you at some later stage... it still is some1 else... )

some people DONT like the way i write.... its too un literature like... so well, here goes an effort into u becomin you... but the content is going to be fashioned in this sense only, because this is stream of consciousness for me... & eXpression n all.. or else i wont write at all... so well....

& btw all this pretence that this blog is public n all... it aint true... the way am writin is as if its somethin like a public channel or somethin... is it ??????? NO its NOT... i know that NO1 reads this blog... & even if i post somethin or whatever it doesNT really make any difference...... & even after that, i write for it in a way that it becomes a general thing kind of stuff... as in tryin to "archetype" n all coZ the emotions n all we all go through are actually the same...

so courage ????? i DONT think so ....

but this medium is weird... i must say that.... as in its public, yet its private... it has at least a few people like me who post stuff which are personal n all... but hey when one is writing bout emotions n all n how one feels for something, it will become personal... & also whatever i am gonna write its goin to be personal.... i guess.. that much self toh is goin to be there only...

so well... the new title : its a peek into me, is it ?????

well.......

well.......

how many times have u felt that u could go back n change something ?????
how many times does one feel that one could go back to that person n eXplain it to him/her... to spend those few moments more with that person.... how many times does one feel as if one could make the other person understand... to maybe change the things from the way they are... maybe NOT change the course of actions but to be able to smile back at that person s thought... how many time do we wish we NOT have regrets...

should we have regrets at all???? well, i DONT think so... one does the best possible thing acc to the best knowledge one has at that particular moment.... so it could be possibly the best decision one could have taken at that particular time... though while takin the decision one has many doubts & thinks of all the other things that can be done & till the last moment (& later) thinks that what one is doin is NOT right.... but then what is right ??????? what is wrong?????? well, all subjective.... NOTHiN i want to ponder into right NOW... the point is despite all this do we really take the decision which we think is most right... what is that stops us from doin so, if that is NOT the case????

& y in retrospect, one believes to be able to see things more clearly ????? jus coZ we can see the results ????? well, in blind chance (by kieslowski) the filmmaker has clearly and very truly (for me) shown that what ever one does, we canNOT be taking the best decision... in the film the protagonist by the matter of luck n fate ends up with three diff results... one is led to think as to which one is the better than the other... but in the end, NONE has a so called "happy ending"... but hey y the FUCK did i digress into it.... i can go on n on bout the film... but the point i think has already been made...

but even with this knowledge do we stop regretting???? do I wish to go back n change thing ?????? or maybe i jus sulk bout it.... things happen... could we have helped it ????? i think so... but what can one do NOW ?????

"the past is NO more" - Augustine (i think)

but is it ??????? the past affects the present.... or presents it self on to you in the present... thus changing the present & the yet to be ( the future)...

hmmmm

but then what does one do ????? let things be ????? where was i ???? what was i talkin bout???? what was goin on in my head ????? it is the past..... so it is NO more???????? or is it even more there, NOW that i try to retrospect......

i dunno where this thing is goin....
lets get it back on track...

some ppl told me one should NOT regret coZ one caNT do anything bout it... but i reject that thing completely coZ if one stops thinkin bout stuff one cant do anythin bout.... then at least my life would almost be redundant... one takes idealogical stands on stuff small n big, on stuff on which it makes NO diff... so should we stop taking those decisions????? i DONT think so....

but the first argument, i think still holds good in my head... that one takes the best possible decision at the time... "best" again is relative.... many people jus like to regret... "agar aisa hota to vaisa hota " kinds.... hypothetic... again somethin i reject....

but we can NOT deny that we regret.... maybe very little, maybe too much, maybe jus a FLASH in the mind.... but i think we all do... there is this thing that crosses the mind for a fraction of a second...

we see a person, or something & think "y?" y does it have to be this way nd NOT the other... some of us, go ON to also think that maybe if it was the other way round, it would or would NT have worked out... some know that this had to be... one way or the other... maybe preferably NOT this way....


regret - feel sad, repentant, disappointed over (something that has happened or or has been done)