i love this painting by van gogh... and i love starry nights anyway... wow!!! could stare it forever... it is like eternity... and maybe it has something to do with the fact that the weather around that time in ahmedabad is better... as in there is at least a tinge of breeZe and for some time you can even forget that you are actually living in a boiling pot!!! but there i digress again... i doNT know what is it about this painting & i doNT want to know but there is something about it... and there is something about the sky full of stars...its just there... and i doNT know when i was staring at it some time ago and there was someone staring at it, breathing neXt to me... and it was the most wonderful feeling... just lying there under the sky neXt, someone breathing there with you... 4.9.... it was not the same person who had introduced me to the painting though... i remember making breakfast with her(the person who introduced me to the painting), that s when i started that actually and it was lovely... and i realized i loved making breakfast... NOT necessarily cooking but just making breakfast... there is something about getting up, getting late and rushing about to make it in time... and we would always be running a bit late... even if we get up early... and quite a funne scene actually... both assigning works to each other in between the the morning stuff - shower, clothes to clean, the cleaning lady, tea, blah blah blah... and eggs man, they are awesome... that s probably one thing almost impossible to screw up... a friend used to make it for me when we were living togethter some three years ago... he mailed me recently... i miss him to much... still wear the watch he gave to me... anyway, i made some eggs for my friend who was here for some time with me... and he seemed to have loved it... the trouble is that he would keep telling everyone who would come to my place about it and i would end up making it for everyone... hehehehhehe... but it was fun... i have known this guy since the past three years now... or is it four... four yes... we have had our set of misunderstandings... but the seXy part is we never spoke about it to each other... every tom dick and harry seemed to know about it, eXcept on each other s face... but this time it was different.. we really spent some quality time with this guy and i really love him... there was this one time when i dreamt or day dreamt early in the morning that he has come to my room and broken my lapTOP... i rushed to his room, and when he woke he told me that i had broken his camera in his dream.... hahahhahahhahahha anyway, this time somehow all our conversations would end up on girls, relationships blah blah... (maybe that also has to do with the fact that the professional life discussion turns out to be night marish hehehehhehe ;) but all this talk about girls and all reminded me of school days man... i remember the time when this friend of mine called me to tell me that he had a crush on this girl and i also liked this girl, hehehhehe but he sounded serious and all... anyway, that s when i probably started to talk to him... and hence we have talked a lot over the years... about a lot... anyway, just add a little cheese to the omlette and its heaven... its beautiful... but the fact of the matter is that we doNT see the beauty in things around us... and there is so much of it all over... beauty.. there s a concept... the dictionary meaning : beau·ty [byoo-tee] the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)... hmmm... that s a lot of sense for me... beauty... john cage... the sound of the scrubbing of utensils, the rhythm of it... sound of train passing through stations, the language of announcements keep changing... the newspaper being put on water, the water blotting onto it... the fear of being photographed and yet readily doing it for someone... a glass breaking... or a broken glass... the yearning to be with someone... to be with someone... a pair of slippers lying neXt to a bed... getting up in the night to someone sleeping neXt to you talking to you in a lang you doNT understand and going off to sleep... that perfect track shot... that little girl with those blue eyes... the older girl sitting neXt to her... the fact that to get a shot right a 130kg guy would climb up a ladder which wouldNT support half his weight in a position where he caNT even fit... that perfect cut... the shot which goes on and on and you need NOT cut it... cinema... hiroshima mon amour... kieslowski... bresson... stalker... the sound of the cold drink bottles with the opener in the intermission in a cinema hall... the sound of a guy who is panning salt in the middle of nowhere... the kids who push the train from within with the belief that their pushing would get the train rolling on... clouds in your car when you were going uphill and you were sleeping... chai... the girl sitting there with a book in one hand and chai in another... that chequered shirt she wears... my own blue striped shirt... comfort... discmofort... the person who would walk all across the borders of gujarat... the person who is able to get over these material needs... food when you are dead hungry... french toast but in pieces and some vanilla essence in it, honey on top of it, a bit of whiskey too... someone cooking for you... someone cooking with you... someone ready to give you company for meals when that person doesn't even have to eat... vodka... wine... white wine... chilled beer in the middle of a hot summer day... dinner at home... home... breakfast... making breakfast with someone... making breakfast for someone still sleeping... someone sleeping... starry nights... someone somewhere in the other corner of the world seeing the same starry nights but breathing neXt to you... 2nd and 3rd grade photos of someone else... someone reminding you of your childhood.... poetry... parents... grandparents... the letter you wrote to them but never reached them... your grandma teaching you chess... tantrums you threw as kids for your parents attention... what you believe of the world as a kid... games you played with your family when you were a kid... the games you play online with some people now... people inspiring you to do stuff you never thought you could or would... certain people you allow to take liberty with some of your never to be broken rules... the anXiety to check mail every morning.... someone... the best relationship you could have had but never had... the person who was meant for being with you but it was not meant to be or was it... longing... blog entries where you doNT know what you started with and what you end with... listening to santana while writing stuff which is not going anywhere.... stuff in which you doNT really know what is happening or where is it going... or which is going nowhere... life...